Meet the New Bloke

February 22, 2008

No MP3. This is an old one that I occasionally line up when I don’t like the look of a friend’s new partner.

You introduce me to your latest lover
As if you have unearthed some kind of gem
You tell me he’s not like the others
But he looks pretty much identical to them

Meet the new bloke, he’s the same as the old bloke
Six foot four, the air’s too heavy to reach his brain
Meet the new bloke, he’s the same as the old bloke
Only the football shirt has changed.

You introduce me to your latest boyfriend
He’s tall and tanned and muscle-bound
You say you’ve known him since the weekend
Yet you still seem to think he’s fun to be around.

Meet the new bloke, he’s the same as the old bloke
Six foot four, the air’s too heavy to reach his brain
Meet the new bloke, he’s the same as the old bloke
Only the football shirt has changed.

You introduce me to your new fiancé
The man to whom you’ll give your independence
How he proposed to you, you won’t say
But I’m skeptical that he used a complete sentence.

Meet the new bloke, he’s the same as the old bloke
Six foot four, the air’s too heavy to reach his brain
Meet the new bloke, he’s the same as the old bloke
Only the football shirt has changed.

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