Ryanair

The lady beside me is snoring
There’s a man with his knees in my back
I just got a nasty concussion
When his suitcase fell down from the rack

I yearn for the romance of flying
With passengers treated like kings
But sadly my ticket’s with Ryanair
And I’m stuck in a cattle-truck with wings

But I have worse news for the traveller!
If you didn’t go on the ground!
For the privilege of spending a penny:
They’re going to be charging a pound!

They’ve taken away the bad movies
And the plasticky food on the tray
Next they’ll be taking the poky wee room
That’s usually covered in spray

I have some advice for the flyer
Desperately needing to go
Sneakily crap in the sick bag
And send it to their CEO

I have bad news for the traveller!
If you didn’t go on the ground!
For the privilege of spending a penny:
They’re going to be charging a pound!

So if you’re caught short while you’re flying
You’d best will the pilot to rush
Cross your legs, hold it in ’til the airport
Unless you’re feeling… flush!

I have bad news for the traveller!
If you didn’t go on the ground!
For the privilege of spending a penny:
They’re going to be charging a pound!